that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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