They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
