So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
