omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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