Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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