I heard we made out
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
