MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
