stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
