Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
