I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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