I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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