Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
