I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
