Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize