he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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