kristin has been a bad kristin
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Randomize
