I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
You are the jesus of drinking
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
