why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Randomize
