trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Randomize
