You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
