How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Randomize
