are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
