well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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