In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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