i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
did you just send me my own nude
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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