Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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