elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
