people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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