You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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