yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
