he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
