he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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