can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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