Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
