smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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