susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
