it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
