I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
how does that bad decision feel?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
