dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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