Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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