Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
