I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
