do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
This is the high leading the old right now
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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