I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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