Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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