obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Can I color on your dick again?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
