She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
