Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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