What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
