some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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