Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
