Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
