Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
