i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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