Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
