there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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