did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
