he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
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