You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dick very happy bro
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
