You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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