1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
It's never too late to be topless.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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