I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
