Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He felt like a one man threesome
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize