Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i wish my penis had a tongue
I want you more than these girls want KFC
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
