I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
