Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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