Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
