Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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