i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
