On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
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